Hello Megan! I just arrived here from your project website. While I was there I read your story "Rama's Adventures". Before I read your story I read your author's note to get a better sense of the changes you made. You did a fantastic job of explaining exactly what you did and what to expect as the reader. As the reader in this case, I appreciate it! As for the story, I thought it was a very fun read. It was intriguing and kept the reader, once again me haha, engaged. As for your website, I love that as well. As soon as I arrived, I was greeted by a beautiful picture. The images are simple but perfect at the same time. Additionally, your site is very easy to navigate. Overall, I really like both the site and your story. Great work! I am looking forward to reading more from you in these last few weeks!
Hi Megan! I like that your stories did not stray from the original tellings. It has been a while since we read both epics, so having a refresher on some parts of each story is nice. With that being said, have you thought about changing the stories slightly? They are so similar to the original tales that I feel like I haven’t been able to see you and your writing style through these stories. I bet you are very creative and have some great ideas and interpretations, so I would love to be able to read them! I want to note that the syntax for your stories is choppy and had little variation, which made it somewhat difficult to read. There is a revision challenge where you treat your sentences like music and add variation to the structure in order to create a better flow and transition from one sentence to the next, so you may consider doing that for your stories.
I like that you kept the original concept of the stories you decided to choose! I wonder what made you choose these specific stories to write about? You did a good job of introducing characters and the stories as if we had not read this story previously! I would suggest adding a bit of illustration or color to your page! It's a bit straight forward which is not bad, but I would definitely love to see some of your creativity come out and flourish. Even just from the title of your portfolio, you could totally amp it up and make it fun! MLLL 4993 portfolio is technically what the assignment is, but you could totally make a fun portfolio cover that draws the audience in! Maybe a fun header or a description of what your portfolio is on the first page! I highly suggest! I think adding a bit of description in the first page allows for the audience to know what they are reading! It could help a little bit for us to understand why you chose the stories you did and things like that!
Hi Megan, I am just coming here after reading both the stories on your portfolio. I think you could definitely work a little more on your home page. It would definitely help in drawing in the readers. I would also suggest naming your portfolio something a little more creative. I actually liked the name "mfaleyproject" so, if you want you could just replace the "MLLL-4993 Portfolio" with the former. I would also suggest to play around with themes of the website and use pictures! Pictures would definitely help visualize your stories and make the reader more curious about them. It would also be nice if you could use pictures related to your stories as your header pictures. Right now the headers on both your stories are pictures that the google sites provide. Even if you use the pictures you did down in your stories as headers, it is going to make the whole page look so much better! I really enjoyed your stories. You did a pretty good job with those!
Hey Megan, I am intrigued by this character Rama. He seems to have some powerful attributes, but is a good hero. I do recommend clarifying that Thataka is a demon. It isn't too hard too assume, but just for clarity I recommend that to make Rama look more like a hero or at least a protagonist if that is the goal. I like the simplistic writing style of clearly saying what happens and not meddling too much in details. However, it occasionally leaves me questioning some of the characters as I forgot who they are or just do not have many details to understand them. Because of this, I recommend adding a few details to some of the characters to make them more unique. Or, possibly removing a few of the characters that do not add much in favor of developing more main characters. I also recommend moving the image upwards as I almost missed it but I like the image. For story two, I appreciate the consistency in the writing and your voice. While the two stories do not seem together, they have similar styles. I like how love is a circulating theme within the characters in story 2. Love keeps the story going and ties it together as the theme. Great stories, Megan!
Hello Megan! I just arrived here from your project website. While I was there I read your story "Rama's Adventures". Before I read your story I read your author's note to get a better sense of the changes you made. You did a fantastic job of explaining exactly what you did and what to expect as the reader. As the reader in this case, I appreciate it! As for the story, I thought it was a very fun read. It was intriguing and kept the reader, once again me haha, engaged. As for your website, I love that as well. As soon as I arrived, I was greeted by a beautiful picture. The images are simple but perfect at the same time. Additionally, your site is very easy to navigate. Overall, I really like both the site and your story. Great work! I am looking forward to reading more from you in these last few weeks!
ReplyDeleteHi Megan!
ReplyDeleteI like that your stories did not stray from the original tellings. It has been a while since we read both epics, so having a refresher on some parts of each story is nice. With that being said, have you thought about changing the stories slightly? They are so similar to the original tales that I feel like I haven’t been able to see you and your writing style through these stories. I bet you are very creative and have some great ideas and interpretations, so I would love to be able to read them! I want to note that the syntax for your stories is choppy and had little variation, which made it somewhat difficult to read. There is a revision challenge where you treat your sentences like music and add variation to the structure in order to create a better flow and transition from one sentence to the next, so you may consider doing that for your stories.
Hi Megan!
ReplyDeleteI like that you kept the original concept of the stories you decided to choose! I wonder what made you choose these specific stories to write about? You did a good job of introducing characters and the stories as if we had not read this story previously! I would suggest adding a bit of illustration or color to your page! It's a bit straight forward which is not bad, but I would definitely love to see some of your creativity come out and flourish. Even just from the title of your portfolio, you could totally amp it up and make it fun! MLLL 4993 portfolio is technically what the assignment is, but you could totally make a fun portfolio cover that draws the audience in! Maybe a fun header or a description of what your portfolio is on the first page! I highly suggest! I think adding a bit of description in the first page allows for the audience to know what they are reading! It could help a little bit for us to understand why you chose the stories you did and things like that!
Hi Megan,
ReplyDeleteI am just coming here after reading both the stories on your portfolio. I think you could definitely work a little more on your home page. It would definitely help in drawing in the readers. I would also suggest naming your portfolio something a little more creative. I actually liked the name "mfaleyproject" so, if you want you could just replace the "MLLL-4993 Portfolio" with the former. I would also suggest to play around with themes of the website and use pictures! Pictures would definitely help visualize your stories and make the reader more curious about them. It would also be nice if you could use pictures related to your stories as your header pictures. Right now the headers on both your stories are pictures that the google sites provide. Even if you use the pictures you did down in your stories as headers, it is going to make the whole page look so much better! I really enjoyed your stories. You did a pretty good job with those!
Hey Megan,
ReplyDeleteI am intrigued by this character Rama. He seems to have some powerful attributes, but is a good hero. I do recommend clarifying that Thataka is a demon. It isn't too hard too assume, but just for clarity I recommend that to make Rama look more like a hero or at least a protagonist if that is the goal. I like the simplistic writing style of clearly saying what happens and not meddling too much in details. However, it occasionally leaves me questioning some of the characters as I forgot who they are or just do not have many details to understand them. Because of this, I recommend adding a few details to some of the characters to make them more unique. Or, possibly removing a few of the characters that do not add much in favor of developing more main characters. I also recommend moving the image upwards as I almost missed it but I like the image. For story two, I appreciate the consistency in the writing and your voice. While the two stories do not seem together, they have similar styles. I like how love is a circulating theme within the characters in story 2. Love keeps the story going and ties it together as the theme. Great stories, Megan!